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Noir
Art by charlesdances: Deviantart

Storybook located here.

Comments

  1. Hi Harana :)
    First, wow. Literally just...wow. I absolutely love the set up of the design and look of the layout. I swear I spent five whole minutes just playing around and being awed by your blog. It's an immediate hook for the reader! I'm also a fan how you put headshots and quick bio information about your Grimm brothers. It made them feel real and very much alive.
    The style of your blog and the introduction gives me a feel of BBC's "Sherlock" meets NBC's "Grimm." However, despite that general feeling, it most definitely comes across as unique. With the overarching black, white, and gray color scheme with the noir images, I can't help but feel the stories take place between the late 1920s to '30's.
    Your play on the word "grim" in the title was another thing that completely made the introduction for me.
    The only three things I could find were both super nitpicky, and up to you to change. The first is the official term is "blood spatter" rather than "blood splatter." The second is just changing those two hyphens into em dashes. The third is "second generation" has a hyphen between the words (according to Merriam). Like I said, they're pretty nitpicky.
    Your punctuation and grammar looked good, and the over all feel of the blog and introduction was wonderful. Keep up the great work!

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  2. Hi Harana!
    This is absolutely FANTASTIC! I literally cannot say enough good things about your introduction. From the layout to the character art, everything was absolutely perfect. I immediately placed this in like the 1940's with film noir and could hear a narrator reading out the introduction over a low-quality recording. The blog layout in particular really helps set this stage. It immediately introduces your premise and grabs the reader in. We all love detective fiction, and this does such a good job making us feel like we're part of the action. The only suggestion I do have is pretty minor, but the word size over the pictures in the first part of the introduction is a little small. I am pretty nearsighted, so maybe this is just me, but I had to lean in a bit to the screen to read the details. That being said, it's a small suggestion, and I'm overall just absolutely amazed at your introduction. I can't wait to keep reading the stories throughout the semester!

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  3. Hi Harana!

    To start off, your web design is probably by far the best I've seen while reading through websites. The visual appeal complementing the story is fantastic and makes it so much more fun for the reader! I really like the mystery present within the introduction post. As a reader, the introduction made me curious as to what gave them this reputation? I also like how there was a bit of backstory as to why they like solving crimes so much. It might be nice to see what their parent's case was in one of the case files so we get a deeper character understanding. The layout of your site made me feel like i was playing a game, which made it very fun and made me also want to keep reading! I'm excited to see what work you continue doing and how this storybook turns out. Great work!

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  4. Hi Harana!

    I am very intrigued by your introduction. It was very well written and that made me want to read all four cases at once! I think that you web set up is a huge reason that I was drawn in. The theme fits really well and it is a serious enough vibe that you are pulled into the story but not so serious that it makes people not want to read it. My favorite part was the introduction pictures. These add an extra layer to the already intense scene that you are setting. I would like to know more about their parents. It was briefly mentioned and I am curious as to what would cause two brother to go into crime solving. Similarly, is this going to be written from the criminals perspective or from the brothers or from a third outside party? I was getting confused on the narrator's perspective of the story.

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  5. Hey Harana, I want to say firstly that I like the theme you chose; it's really neat and works for the type of story you're going for! Also, your graphics are so nice and it's just reminding me of my days of photoshop, and the tears that it would induce! That said, the Brothers Grimm are so widely known, but I'm excited to see your take on the stories, especially because you're writing the brothers as private investigators. Maybe you can explain why you decided to go that route with them? Of course, it makes so much sense to do so, and now that I see it I can't think of any other way, but maybe you can give us more detail into why you wanted it that way? Also, learning more about their parents case would be cool too! Besides those few things, I'm incredibly excited to see the future stories; I love your writing so much, so I know they're going to be good!

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  6. Hey Harana!
    I would say that your website page is impressive and attractive! It provides me a special atmosphere before I read the book. For the story, also, the detailed description of the Grimm Brothers or other characters are very useful for me to imagine some pictures when I read it. Reading your story is like watching a movie, I feel expectant for the next scene or next conversation every time I have read a sentence.
    Also, I love the last sentence for your first story. This kind of ending is like a "classic style" which appeared in many different stories. All plots here are going towards peacefulness.
    On the other hand, I believe if you could zoom in the part of the main content of your website, the total visual effect would be better.

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  7. Hello Harana,
    Your website is so impressive it has such a great atmosphere and it really puts someone in a head space to start to read a mystery and just makes someone feel like a detective. From the color to the way that the website looks with buttons that are just asking to be clicked t discover more. My only piece of potential criticism is that the banner picture of Grimm is cut off a little for me and I am not able to see all of the picture no matter how I format my window so if there is a way for that to be fixed I think you would have a perfect website for me. I love the way that you introduced the Grimm brothers. I also love the way that you are covering more of the source materials from them instead of the more romanticized version that are more palatable for children. It was very enjoyable reading your first case file and the writing was beautiful and I wanted to read more. you did a fantastic job and you are a very talented writer.

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  8. Hi Harana,
    First of all, I literally just said "woah" out loud when I opened up your project. I don't know how you did this, but I can tell you put TONS of effort into this, and it looks amazing. Even though it is really impressive and high level and intricate, it is also very easy to navigate which I also love. I think it's really cool that you picked to do a story book with this idea in mind, so now you can do the different case files for your story, and all the cases can be so different, but all come together through your overall idea. So cool! I love the way you introduce your characters the Grimm Brothers, and how they are recurring characters throughout your project. It reminds me of an actual crime novel series, which I assume is what you were going for. So awesome, I can't wait to read more of your stories!

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  9. Hello Harana,
    This storybook is absolutely incredible, it is obvious that you care about presentation and making sure that your work is top notch, and you killed it. The storybook is eerie and feels super professional. The way the mouse interacts with the different buttons on the screen is my favorite part, I did not even know that was possible to do. Having each of your stories as "case files" was a nice detail that I noticed. I feel almost as if there might be a little too much going on, but it is better that way than to not have enough. Your first story is very good as well, it is incredibly detailed and the dialog between characters is riveting. My only suggestion for you would be that your site is pretty hard to read and see the picture well. I do not have the best eyesight, so I might be the only person with this problem but I would like it to pop more than it does. I look forward to reading more from you! Let's have a great 2nd half to the semester!

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  10. Hi Harana,
    Wow! Your storybook is so well done. I absolutely love the layout, design, and colors you used for your storybook. I think it is so unique and creative. Your storybook is very different than everyone else's I have seen, which makes you stand out. I think it looks very professional. Another bonus to your storybook is it is easy to navigate and perfectly organized, which is great for visitors and classmates. Your storybook gives me a 1920's and a "spy-ish" vibes. I am very impressed by all of it. I loved reading your first story. The way you told the story was great for readers because it was easy to understand and creative. You did a great job giving detailed information and painting a picture in the readers mind. The only suggestion I would make is to maybe make some of your fonts bigger or bolder on your website so classmates can easily spot tabs or readings. Overall, I think you've done a great job.

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  11. Hi Harana,

    I picked your storybook from the class list because I absolutely loved your title. When I was directed to your storybook's homepage, I was immediately taken aback. Your layout is jaw-dropping amazing! This is by far the most creative and coolest storybook I have seen in this class! It really does look like a case file, as the title suggests! I also love the main picture on the sidebar! It also ties in with the theme. I also liked how you have to scroll down without scrolling down the whole page. This is so fresh and new and definitely my new favorite storybook!

    I love how you aren't taking a theme, but an author(s) for your storybook. Most people kind of take a broad topic and then write about that, but once again, you are being so creative by focusing on Grimm's story.

    I am looking forward to reading more case files this semester! Keep up the amazing work.

    -Libby

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  12. Harana, everybody is already saying it, but seriously your design is SO COOL. It drew me in immediately and I actually had fun reading your introduction and story. It seems like you're having fun with this project and that's awesome! Also, I can tell that you are a really good writer. I appreciate the way you incorporate dialogue into your writing, not many people even attempt to do that because it is difficult to pull off, but you really make it work. I felt like I was reading something I could watch in an episode of BBC's Sherlock or something like that - very classy and mysterious; dark, but not in a self-indulgent way - seriously great job! I'm going to check back at your project as the semester goes on - I can't wait to see how it turns out.

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  13. Hi Harana!

    I think you've done a really great job with every aspect of your storybook! The aesthetics of your pages are fantastic, and your writing style enhances your plot. I also think your idea is super creative—putting that kind of twist on the Grimm Brothers' stories works perfectly and is really imaginative! Your introduction prefaces your work well, too, because it gives the reader just enough information to get hooked without giving too much away. Maybe you could increase the font size of the first two paragraphs (white lettering on a green background), though, just in case anyone has vision difficulties! As for your first story, I think it's also great. I like that you made it a little more tame than the original because Grimm Brothers' stories can be pretty gruesome, but you didn't compromise the story's integrity. I can't wait to read more of your work, Harana!

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