Week 3 Story: The Calm Before

Achilles and Patroclus
Source: Tumblr

Homer's Iliad
Condensed by Alfred Church: here


Patroclus roused to the smell of metal, the jangle of keys (quickly muffled, tucked into a pocket), and the familiar shuffle of Achilles’ boots on the dirt packed floor of their ARFAB. Nights on this side of the world were darker. Too many trees where they camped, blocking out the stars, moon, and more strategically the enemy F-16s from sighting their location. Patroclus couldn’t get a good look at him as Achilles fumbled by the entrance. Just recognized him by sound, smell, and the familiar outline of Achilles’ broad shoulders and the fall of his hair, mop of golden waves left unruly this long into a military operation. It had been two weeks since they’d last left the main base for a smaller camp, and Patroclus was aware his hair wasn’t much better. He’d have to cut it soon. Achilles’ too. With Patroclus’ hands in his hair, buzzer dragging on his scalp – it was one of the few times Achilles seemed tame, quiet, and very young.
 

Patroclus perched up on his elbow in his cot. “What time is it?”
 

“Late.”
 

Achilles had just made Major. One of the youngest to ever wear the rank in their Army and there were perks. The two of them had their ARFAB to themselves, got choice pick of supply drops, but it hadn’t been worth the ire the promotion had earned Achilles from the head of their operation. Colonel Aggy was a woman who'd had to bleed and break and lose both a wife and an eye to this war while rising to her rank. And seeing the young, upstart, and often disrespectful Achilles pin on that gold oak leaf at 21 made her grit her teeth and sharpen her tongue. And it was a dislike Achilles provoked with his own near insubordination to her orders. In retaliation he got the watches after midnight (breaking up sleep) and was pushed to perform recon with rookies who pulled triggers with the safety still on. Tonight was no different. Another recon at 0000, paired with fresh meat from Ulysses’ division that had arrived the week before to gradually relieve them of their post.
 

That smell of metal again. Patroclus fumbled for the lamp, pushing the switch and flooding their ARFAB with sterile, florescent light.
 

“– Achilles!”
 

Blood. There was so much blood. On Achilles’ face, the dark green camo and even down to his boots -- the desert tan barely visible with all the dark smears slowly absorbed by the material.
 

“Shit.” Achilles’ eyes were closed, then slivered to squinting to adjust to the light. “Fuck, Pat. Warn a guy first.”
 

“I’ll get a medic.” Patroclus was out of his cot, moving to the tent flap but Achilles’ hand snapped out, catching him at the bend of the elbow.
 

“Sit down.” It was unfair how much muscle Achilles had on him, easily dragging him back and shoving him down with a hand to his chest. “It’s not mine.”

“Whose then?”
 

He knew Achilles. Better than the man knew himself. Watched as the storm gathered behind brown eyes, and as Achilles stilled his temper with clenched fists, tense shoulders, and the thin line of his mouth.
 

“Pedaeus. He's gone.”
 

Patroclus touched the back of Achilles’ hand. Pedaeus had been seventeen. Had required the signature of his father Atenor to join the mandatory draft so young, and had followed Achilles like a shadow, mimicking the Major’s movements during training and begging with his eyes for Achilles’ acknowledgement.

“I’m–” Apologies were cheap. Achilles didn’t want to hear them. And Patroclus suddenly noticed there was blood where Achilles had touched him, drying on the crook of his elbow and Achilles noticed it too.
 

“Fuck.” A whisper. Then louder– “Fuck, fuck, fuck! Aggy. Who sends rookies to hot spots in the dark. He wasn’t ready. I fucking told her that and–”
 

“Shhh.” Patroclus touched his fingers to Achilles’ mouth. “You shouldn’t talk like that.” The nearest tent was a foot away. If they heard Achilles and it got back to the Colonel–

Achilles’ mouth twisted under Patroclus fingers. “Are you taking her– you’re supposed to be on my side!”
 

“I know. I know.” The support, hushed quietly dampened the fire in Achilles’ eyes. But the man's teeth were still bared, and the blood on Patroclus’ fingers from touching his mouth smeared into Achilles’ incisors, red on white.

"I can’t…” The solid line of Achilles’ shoulders drooped. “I can’t do this any more.”
 

“Achilles–”
 

“Not under Aggy. I’ll push a transfer.”
 

“They won’t let both of us go. The colonel’s too undermanned.”

“Like hell.” Achilles wanted to touch him. Patroclus could tell, from the way his fingers splayed out before clenching into fists. “I’d like to see them try.”
 

Patroclus said nothing. Achilles. Brilliant, extraordinary Achilles. The military prodigy who’d never failed a mission, who had a body count higher than soldiers ten years his senior – still thinking after all that death that he could take on the world and it would bend to him.
 

So far it had.

Tonight–they were alive. But hours from now, tomorrow, or the day after–who knew? The fates were cruel. Pedaeus and soldiers younger than them had already been ruined and rotted and sent home cold for their mothers to mourn. And as Achilles settled next to him, tucking in close in quiet desperation, Patroclus knew Achilles realized it too.

Author's Note:

The Iliad is about war. Paris stealing a man's wife, the Greeks uniting to take her back. But it's not clear moral lines of whites and blacks. What makes the Iliad interesting is how the major players have their faults and their strengths, their rights or wrongs. The players from each side are human with their own motivations. Achilles as a character is imperfect. He put his pride above his people, asking his mother to ask Zeus to hurt the Greeks so they'd feel his refusal to join the battlefield. I wanted to write a modern snippet behind his motivations. I feel he joined the battlefield so young, and the terrible example of his superiors made him bitter. But Patroclus, his dearest companion kept him grounded until he lost him too.

Comments

  1. Harana, your writing is absolutely spectacular, and flows well! I thoroughly enjoyed reading this adaptation to the Illiad, and am excited to see what else you come up with. If at all possible, I think it would be interesting to see more of Achille's relationship with Pedaeus, but most definitely with the Colonel Aggy. You briefly give us a foundation as to why they don't like each other, but I think adding more details and possible events that further brought them to this point would be cool. Likewise, I don't know if you plan on doing this in the future, but a confrontation between the Colonel and Achille's due to Pedaeus' death would have so much potential, and might culminate in Achille's finally leaving her command. Of course, wherever you plan to go with the story is going to be fantastic, and I hope you plan on continuing with this piece!

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  2. I really loved your story and the way your wrote it. The imagery in the story is amazing. I felt I was able to really picture the things you were telling in the story. I can tell you love writing, it is very evident in your writing. I also think that the approach you took to the story was very interesting and made me very intrigued.

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  3. Hi Harana,

    While I did not read this story, I was intrigued with your retelling of it and impressed with your writing. When I began reading, I picked up on the modern vibes. I also liked how descriptive the writing is; I was able to imagine these scenes in my head, but also understand how Achilles was feeling. It was almost like a snippet from a novel! Again, I haven't read the story and I'm not as familiar with military activities, but I, personally, was somewhat confused with the paragraph where we learn Achilles was made Major and we learn of Colonel Aggy. What do you mean when you said, "In retaliation he got the watches after midnight (breaking up sleep) and was pushed to perform recon. . .?" I think I understand that they are supposed to be up at a certain time to do some operation. Was he doing it in revenge because of the Colonel? I think adding some more details or background information on the strife between Achilles and Colonel Aggy could help me understand his attitudes. Overall, this was a great story and different than other stories I've read in this class so far! I would use this as inspiration for my own retelling of stories! I can tell you enjoy writing and I look forward to reading more of your stories.

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